EW

Fake Tan- Australia says no.

Sometimes.. I'm ashamed to be a girl.

Jobs jobs jobs

So.. In keeping you up to date of all things in the world of Kate
this occured today..

Whilst at an job interview for a well known chain store.. two things happened.

1. Whilst watching their video on how "cool/hip/happening/other ridicolous verbs" the people who worked at this "ab-fab" chainstore were. The video actually stated, "by 2016 we hope to become one of the most dominant chain stores in the country" - now straight away my mind things to two things. that song "prepare for total domination..domination..domination"- you know, the one from bring it on? secondly, WHAT AN EVIL BLOOD SUCKING CORPURATION!!! getting teens/ cool young happy people to do all their evil work?!

2. It was a group interview, and about half way through, they said "now some of you will stay... and some of you will go" yes, EXACTLY LIKE AUSTRALIAN IDOL- the pressure was on.. what would happen? TUNE IN NEXT ADD BREAK TO FIND OUT!!... but seriously. Worst thing ever. They announced numerous names.. leaving the rest of us to find out "unfortunately, you guys are not the next Australian idol/successful applicant for our evil corporation, you can not carry out our plot for world domination"
BUT THEN
as I was walking out.. my heart in my shoes.. my legs like jelly, choking back warm tears of rejection.. an amazing occurrence happen
"Kate! Come back! YOU WIN!- You have been accepted!"
me "ummm thanks?"
them- "we were just tricking"
me-"ok?..." (what does someone say here? fake laugh?)

It's not a very funny joke now, is it?

well that is all for now
in the words of the Governorator, "I'll be back"

Werid waiters

My lovely readers- It has been a millennium, I know.
But I'm back and better than ever, just like the paranormal activity movie.

So.. how all you all? Good? lovely.
Now, let's get back to me!

Well, I have graduated.. and whilst reflecting over the past years of my schooling career, recalling the many firsts with my dearest best friend. A strange occurrence.. well, occurred.

Whilst we were at the table.. a man in black (also known as a waiter) approached us.
He immediately began to flirt with my friend... touching her on the arm- HIGHLY unprofessional, I KNOW! he then leaves and comes back a second, third, fourth time. I begin to wonder.. DOES THIS GUY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
but wait, it gets better...
not only does the waiter PEER pressure us into buying dessert there (did I mention he's about 30 and incredibly creepy?) but then proceeds to as my friend for her number!? At this current moment I'm thinking.. wow, what a sad old man.
luckily my friend does not have a phone- yes, I know- retarded.
the guy then goes to kiss my friend goodbye, yes remember he's at work, not at some sleazy club.
Kaptain Kate then saves the day, "Don't you have someone else to flirt with and piss off" I slapped him and we didn't pay. ... well this is what should have happened.

Here's what really happened. My friend is mature and I try to be.. while bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter. We walk away from the night, vowing NEVER to go to that sleazy bar EVER again. Word of the wise, don't flirt back with creepy old dudes. they will stalk you and rape you.

"well, its been a while..."

My lovely readers...
It has been quite a while I know, and I am simply posting this to avoid doing a terrilbe essay about relgion and peace. The topic that everyone fails to discuss because its SO FUCKING HARD!!!!!!

So what has been happening in the lovely little world of Kate these past few months...

I've ventured to Sydney numerous times. On one occasion, a rather awkward thing happened to me... I was in a shop, shopping (as one does...)
I notice an old lady walking around. She suddenly appears next to me (I swear she apperated or something) She then proceeds to try and put a scarf in my bag. Of course my reaction was to freak out...
Old lady: here dear I think this might go well with your jeans.
Me: ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME STEAL SOMETHING?!?! I'm not wearing any jeans!?
Old Lady: *continuously tries to put stuff in my bag. *
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
The old lady then shuffles away.. in search of another teenage girl to try and make her steal items. I worry for the past generations.

Continuing on...
We have had 10 weeks of school. Which have not been very eventful at all. Although viedos have been made. For those how have me on facebook, you can see these.

I also got broken up with.
The Ex came and picked me up at 5:30, after I had asked him if we could go and get icecream, I was quite excited :) Anyway, he took me to this lovely little spot, the sun was setting and everything was quite pretty
Me: -imagine high pitched voice because I'm so excited, cuz I thought something exciting was going to happen- OHMYGOD!! ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOO PREETTYYYYYY!!
The Ex: So, we need to talk... Its not working
the whole world stops working for these next few minutes.. my muscles stop working I cant do anything but sit there and stare ahead, daring not to look at anything.
Me: Ok....
The Ex: Proceeds to explain several reasons why we cant be together..
Me: Ok. can you just take me home now?
The Ex: blah blah blah
Me: Ok.
What followed was the most awkward car trip in the world, all I was thinking though was why didn't I know that last week was going to be the last time we would kiss... Do I kiss him again? I then decided I was furious at him. He then stopped at my drive. I slammed the door. and stomped up to my door. As you can see, I was very mature about it all.

Fastforward to friday.
I was in Newcastle talking to these two very sexy surfers, Whilst waiting for the best food the world, The hamburger. Suddenly one of the guys collapsed and began to have a fit. I froze. all blood rushed to my feet. I resmbled an albino. I didnt know what to do yet, I had completed my first AID. Suddenly I remembered. The ambulance was called. What the followed was very convient for them... Or them being loyal.
Surfer dude: Well, I better get your number in case something serious happens
Me: Um, ok???
Was it all a ploy to get my number.. I was thinking the guy could have just been an amamzing actor.. until.. Unfortunalty something serious has happened to this poor guy!

So all is all that has been happening in my life so far!
My love to all!.

xo

Its all going swimmingly

Well... It's time I updated this lovely little space of mine.

Interesting things that have happened to me of late...

Lets rewind about a week about a half ago

I'm at the beach and everything is going swimmingly (get it!?) anyway, I get out of the water.. sporting the I've-just-been-smashed-by-a-giant-wave look, hair everything, runny nose. I walk up the burning sand to my towel. When this guy walks up to me (who is very well dressed, who dresses well on the beach?) he goes "Hi Im Mr. _ I'm wondering if you would be interested in doing a photo shoot or becoming a swimwear model?" Me: Um..um um...
Mr. _: You would get paid.
Me: um um um
After what felt like hours of umming and a bit more umming. I passed on his offer, I mean who goes around recuiting bikini models on a beach, whislt wearing lovely clothes.

The following day at the beach, I was not asked to a bikini model again. No, that faithful day would be forever known as THE ADVENTURES OF KATE AND AMY!!!! Amy and I are in the water on a board, our eyes not on the hirizon, but on the hoards of hot sexy boys in the water. particlurly EL BEARDO and his friend SEXY BLONDE GUY. Sadly when me and amy chose to act out the final scene of titanic, they thought we were super werid and swam in. Also, a special meantion to the strong silent rude type. yes GOLDCHAIN, I'm talking about you. I hate you. In some countries your taught to smile when soemone smiles at you. clearly you have not been taught this custom.

Finally.
A special meantion to my journalist friend Mr. C. Who took me on his job so I could interview the roads minster with him. however, when it came to my turn to ask a question, this is how it went.

Mr. C: Would you like to ask a question kate?
Me: ummmm
Mr. C: or not.
Roads minister: HAHAHAHAHA

How embarrsment

Th-th-tha-that's all folks!

Ah... Summer days.

Hello World.

Well, since I have been bed ridden for a while now with a death cough and a nose that resembles a leaky tap, I thought it was time for an update into the ever so enthralling world that exsists through my eyes.

So, what has excatlty happened in the last week or so...
Ah.. thats right the oh SO joyful time of christmas and new years.

So lets rewind about a week and a half ago.
My Mother- "Kate, get up its time to go to the farm, its 5 30 am" (yes i know, i didn't know this time existed ethier.)
Me- I don't feel well *throws up everywhere*

Well, what a lovely start to the christmas holidays it was going to be.
So, off we set to the farm. Me sitting in the back of the car, watching Dexter, the best tv show in the world, and occasionally doing homework. So, after 8 very very very long hours we arrived (I was STILL sick.) So anywaayyyyy, we set off to christmas eve mass. Which was quite pathetic, picture what your christmas mass looks like. Yes normally so crowded that people have to stand. Well, at this mass, there were about 30 people. Yes, pathetic I know, combinded with an hour and half of a priest who I couldn't understand. It was FANASTIC. NOT!!!

The following day was the one day ever child looks forward to, other than their own birthday, is of course christmas :), of course it didnt actully feel like christmas, and as you get older, it never does, it makes me quite sad. ANYYYWAAAYYYYYYYY, I got lots of cool books and stuff like that :).

The days were longer and longer, as I became sicker and sicker. It was very very not fun at all. So we came home, and again I threw up because I had been coughing so much (I readlly don't know why I'm telling you guys this.)

Fastforward to yesterday. Mother took to the doctor, So we called up the doctor and the doctor said. No not lets get the rythmn of the feet, but "I can't see anything wrong with you but are you sexually active and do you smoke?" to which my response was "...."

So to conclude this lovely little blog, I am surrounded by a sea of tissues and am being given about 5 different kinds of medicines, but of course there is nothing wrong with me.